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Our relationships are poisoned by the failure of both men and women to realize that in each of us a lion roars. We do not yet recognize that the fierceness of the lioness is as right and beautiful as the roar of the lion. Humans are the only species in which the female is made wrong for showing she is pissed.
Although we enjoy extensive political freedom in this country [the USA], most of us have severely limited emotional and psychological freedom. They have been all but capped by the time we are five years old, by so many voices telling us what we can and cannot do. What good is having freedom when we don't know how to access it, how to give ourselves permission to use it?
Starting with parents and then our educational system, we have taught children repeatedly that they are not the power centers of their own lives. We train them into a kind of slavery, by teaching them the ways of those who let other people determine what their lives will be, what their options will be, and how they can serve a system outside themselves.
Everywhere we look we are presented with the idea that men toy with women, women toy with men — that's just the way things are; it's the way of love. But that is not the way of love; it's the way of lovelessness. How often we seek love but leave love out. We don't think about being kind and caring, we think about how we can hook a man.
We expect love affairs to always feel good. They don't. Actually, relationships don't feel good anyway. We feel good. Unless we are centered within ourselves, we cannot blame a relationship for throwing us off. No man can convince a woman she's wonderful, but is she already believes she is, his agreement can resonate and bring her joy.
The search for [a partner] who isn't in pain is unreasonable until we ourselves are healed of our own dysfunctions. Until then, we will be led to people as wounded as we are in order that we might heal and be healed together. What this means is that no partner can save us, deliver us, or give meaning to our lives. The source of our salvation, deliverance, and meaning is within us.
Female power transcends what are known politically as women's issues. Female power has to do with women taking an active part in the conversation — whether in the public arena or at the dinner table — and having the same emotional space in which to do so as men.