Five Essential Questions | Day two

What is My Catalyst telling me about what is important to me?

 
 
• i’m re-examining all the little things i do on the daily because, for better or worse, they have shaped my life. 😳 to be honest, this book is awfully redundant. it could easily have been half the size. but what it’s really helping me come face-to-face with is that the time i feel i don’t have to do the things i want my life to consist of ... that time exists. already. and i’m just filling it with other choices. and that’s not inherently ‘bad’ or ‘good’, it just is what it is. but that means i can’t blame anything or anyone anymore for the ways i feel my life is different from how i wish it were. some good rituals i’ve been incorporating into my life these days (in no particular order) include: 1) eating Real Food; 2) working out with my man; 3) reconnecting with old friends; 4) choosing at least one day a week for NO TV; 5) writing my thoughts down when i’m thinking them instead of waiting for a ‘more convenient time’ (lololol) later; 6) getting off all screens at least an hour before bed; 7) reading every day, even if it’s just a couple pages. these habits make my life *feel* better, not because they’re the ‘right’ things to do, but just because they make me feel good. what habits (or routines or rituals) do you do regularly that make you feel good? what things do you want to do more of + turn into habits?
• some people are down with the 9-5 lifestyle and i just ain’t one of ‘em. 👩🏼‍💼🙅🏼‍♀️ i feel conflicting things about this. on the one hand, i get defensive (and even self-doubtful) because my old paradigm goes, “well, duh. no one wants~ to work. don’t be a lazy fuck.” and on the other hand, is it too much to ask for a life i don’t have to clock in + out of? this cubicle work culture is so unnatural it verges on the absurd. on the other hand ... NO! (said in my best Tevye voice) THERE IS NO OTHER HAND. it’s not laziness. it’s not a lack of character, or willpower, or work ethic. because i will *never* stop working to escape the 9-5. never. i might adjust my sails, i might change course, but i will never resign myself to a work culture that i know will never be able to offer me the lifestyle i crave. i got big dreams, i got a vision for my life, and it doesn’t involve spending 8 hours a day in a corporate environment. i chose this lifetime to be a writer, a lover of language, to be a philosopher + an explorer. that is what i have known, in my soul, since i was five years old. there it is. i will NEVER give it up. who else? raise ya hand! 🙋🏼‍♀️ proclaim what you are here for + what you will never give up. let’s rally!
• hiii, i’m jess, and i’m a recovering perfectionist. (hiii, jessss.) ✋🏼 here’s the reality this week: the house is a mess. i skipped 2 workouts. i got hit with some random fatigue + brain fog a couple days. i ordered take-out twice, even though the fridge was FULL. normally, right about now i’d be (only half-jokingly) saying i’m a Bad Adult. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ but i am a good human. my life is messy. i have 24 hours in a day, i have a couple bucks in the bank. but i’m showing up + doing the best i can. it doesn’t have to be perfect, or even pretty. this is my life, and i’m here for it. so what if i haven’t done dishes in 2 days? so what if i still haven’t taken down all the tape from when we painted the living room? i’m living my life. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ it’s the weekend, y’all. what’s one thing you’re just gonna choose not to worry about today?
when your man starts noticing changes in ya body. 😏 so here’s the real truth: this nutrition plan i’ve been following for the last month is literally the simplest thing i’ve ever done, i love that it focuses more on mindset than anything else, + it’s clearly working for my body. BUT what i’m learning through this process is that there’s more to healing your relationship with food than just . it’s also . the other day, alex was complimenting me on changes he’s starting to see in my body, and i allllmost said, “yeah, i’m gettin sexy.” but i caught myself and didn’t say it because, like, HELLOOOO right there in front of me was this person who totally confirms for me 150% that i am already sexy! 🙇🏼‍♀️ this program isn’t just helping me lose weight, it’s helping me feel accomplished + mindful + at peace. i rolled my eyes when i heard others call this program #foodfreedom, but guys. it’s legit. i’m gonna be doing another “challenge group” (ie. a support + accountability group) this month and i want to invite you to do it with us. you wanna eat more Real Food? you wanna be more compassionately aware of your body? you wanna reclaim your own version of healthy, vibrant womanhood? drop your favorite veg emoji below if you’re kinda curious + i can send you some more info! 🤩 - - - - - #thefreewoman #alifeofintention #becomingwild #everythingissacred #calmversation #iamhertribe #shadowwork #wildwoman #innerwork #womensspirituality #femininerising #heroinesjourney #findyourpower #womensempowerment #downwiththepatriarchy #risesisterrise #nastywoman #empoweringwomennow #dearwomanmovement #girltribe #soworthloving #grownasswoman #inspiredlife #perfectlyimperfect #womenwhorunwiththewolves #dietculture #eatlikeyouloveyourself #eatwholefoods #creativewomen
• this dinner brought to you by Real Food™. about three weeks back, i did something i haven’t done for a long time ... i started following a “nutrition plan.” the reasons were many: i’d been experiencing regular indigestion for basically months. i was beginning to recognize i needed to heal my relationship with food (and not just delude myself that being mostly~ vegetarian = being healthy). and, this is kind of random, but i was starting to have a hard time falling asleep because i’m at a size now where my shoulder pushes my neck fat into my windpipe. 😪 which is to say, i wanted to lose some weight so that wouldn’t be happening anymore. there. i said it. i’ve been careful about what i share on here, because i don’t know if anyone else gets this, but i feel a real tension between wanting to be adamantly body positive ... and also knowing that i need to take better care of my body because it hasn’t been feeling great, y’know? which is its own brand of body positivity? i’m not concerned with losing a certain amount of weight, but i’m afraid if i say how i’m excited to see that i’ve lost 10lbs in the first three weeks of a new dietary commitment because it’s tangible proof that good things are happening in my body, then all others might hear is that i’m excited to be losing weight because i’m fat or i want to “look better.” many of you have seen the strange and wondrous places my journey has taken me, and i just want to share where i’m at right here on this step. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (thanks for reading a wall of text! 😘) - - - - - #thefreewoman #alifeofintention #becomingwild #everythingissacred #calmversation #iamhertribe #shadowwork #wildwoman #innerwork #womensspirituality #femininerising #heroinesjourney #findyourpower #soulsparks #womensempowerment #downwiththepatriarchy #risesisterrise #nastywoman #empoweringwomennow #dearwomanmovement #girltribe #soworthloving #grownasswoman #inspiredlife #perfectlyimperfect #womenwhorunwiththewolves #dietculture #foodfreedom #eatlikeyouloveyourself #eatwholefoods
• true story: late last week i was in a team meeting during which a group of my colleagues literally begged (as in, passionately requested and bargained for) extra overtime and a planned Saturday workday. 😳 i swear, american culture has turned work into the opiate of the masses. i just couldn’t believe what i was hearing in that meeting. so when our leadership followed through and invited us to a (voluntary) full workday this weekend with pizza lunch provided, i opted out. the conspiracy of the 9-5 work culture (and, arguably, consumerism in a larger sense) is to keep us so obsessed with the rote duties we perform that we are distracted from living our real, full human lives. i dunno, could just be the angsty aquarian in me. what do you think? work culture? consumerism? corporatism? if you disagree with me, convince me! and go! 👇🏼 - - - - - #wildwoman #grownasswoman #alifeofintention #wholeheartedliving #becomingwild #girltribe #nastywoman #herestothecreatives #ohwowyes #feelfreefeed #communityovercompetition #creativityfound #daretobedifferent #createcultivate #findyourpower #womenonamission #livefullyalive #iamhertribe #thenativecreative #creativeliving #creativewomen #rebelwomen #reclaimthehappy
• a random assortment of things i’m concerned about, pt. 1: ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ where is our food actually coming from? what kind of nourishment and care is it receiving? who is tending it, and are they doing it responsibly? and i’m just talking about the plants! don’t get me started on the meat question. i’m still grappling with it and have exactly 0% clarity. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ speaking of which, my relationship with food isn’t great either. i have a theory that years of disordered eating as a teen left me terrified of any sense of being “restrictive” because i know i have a tendency to take it too far. but the result has been a complete lack of moderation in my life for, i dunno, the last decade? it’s like i sit down to every meal (and belly up to every bar) like it’s my last. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ i would be so screwed in a post-apocalyptic world. i don’t know what’s edible vs what’s poisonous, i’m not very handy/crafty, and i sure as shit couldn’t outrun the zombies. i would basically be the weird rambly philosopher-type character in the group that’s always spouting off hypothetical shit about the situation. y’know, the character that’s always basically the first to die. 😳 ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ what legacy am i building? am i wasting this precious life being one of the sheeple? i know i have big work to do in this life, because i have ALWAYS known “what i want to be when i grow up.” but i watch too much tv and spend not enough time doing the things i always say i wish i were doing. how do we get out of the trap of always being plugged in and instead fill our lives with more space, more intention? ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ - - - - - ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ #reallife #keepinitreal #michaelpollan #omnivoresdilemma #alifeofintention #creativewomen #liveonpurpose #ohwowyes #herestothecreatives #theeverydaygirl #iamhertribe #feelfreefeed #perfectlyimperfect #grownasswoman #womensspirituality #calmversation #thefreewoman #wildwoman #womenwhorunwiththewolves #heroinesjourney #nastywoman #risesisterrise #heroinesjourney #girltribe #becomingwild