being a woman, being human

Being a Woman, Being Human

my quest for womanhood
started as a question:

what does it mean to be a wife in the context of a marriage in which neither party considers themselves Christian?

and then:

what is the purpose of this marriage relationship and what is my role within it?

who am I allowed to be in this new role, and, by extension, as a woman?

but I think what I am learning,
the conclusion that I seem to be drawing nearer to,
is that "womanhood" is a
red herring.

I am never going to find or understand
womanhood.

instead, I think, what I have really been looking for
(without knowing it)
is this:

what is the purest essence of the
— human experience —
my soul-self has come here to have?

and so it is about womanhood only so far as it is about understanding that I have come into this existence for a reason — to experience humanity as this expression, which happens to be as a woman.